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Lobster is my little sister. You probably could not find two people more different than Lobster and myself. Over the years, we have become best friends, developing a trusting, supportive bond. All that aside, we have some of the funniest conversations you’ve ever heard. They are nonsensical, and never the same twice. I have chosen a few of the best examples from our BBMs.
Lobster: Josh had his surgery today
Me: I already sent him a message
Lobster: Good
Me: Stop hasselin me, I did it already
Lobster: Don’t make me hurt u, cause u know I can
Me: I’m not the least bit worried about you or your puny muscles child. Bring on the heat cause I’m staying in the kitchen. Yea. I went there.
Lobster: Wow. I regret threatening u
Me: That’s what I was going for. Was it too much, or just enough?
Lobster: It was a little heavy on the rude side for my taste
Me: Playa was played. Straight up.
Lobster: hahaha u didn’t play the game u bitch slapped it
Me: Every once in a while someone needs to rock the game. You witnessed history.
Lobster: Lol
Me: You’re welcome ma sista
Days later…
Lobster: Ok, he’s coming to see me?
Me: Sure to see you
Lobster: Nice. I’ll shave my legs for that for sure
Me: I would hope so
Lobster: hahahahaha
Me: At a minimum
Lobster: hahahaha my standards have dropped. I should work on that.
Me: By the sounds of it, they dropped to an unacceptable level
Lobster: Oh, you have no idea – or ever will
Me: Lol, gross
Lobster: It will die with me
Me: The world would appreciate that
Days later…
Me: I want to blog about our conversations – you ok with that?
Lobster: Lol why not
Me: I’d have you approve content
Lobster: Oh for sure. I ran tonight. And not from the police.
About her latest crush on a guy:
Lobster: I never could after the things I have said. I blew it.
Me: I agree with that. No looking back. It’s a shame really.
Lobster: Lol, unless he gets amnesia that’s my only hope. Or everyone on earth dies but him and I.
Me: Those are the kids of things you shouldn’t wish for.
Just the other day…
Me: You ok?
Lobster: Just bummed.
Me: Anything I can help with? Want me to send you a stripper gram?
Lobster: Lol please. A hot one.
Me: Police officer or fire fighter?
Lobster. Lol both. No emo’s. One naughty, one nice. No old bastards.
Me: You’re starting to get a little choosy.
Lobster: No prepubescent boys. Or spry-staches.
Me: You know what? This is too complicated now.
Lobster (hours later): Still waiting
Me: I’d say they got terribly lost.
Lobster: hahaha. I would say.
Me: I’m not paying for over time, tell them that when they get there.
Lobster: I will say that after the job is done. Don’t want corners to be cut.
Me: Well played. You know how to work strippers.
Lobster: I am frugal when it comes to getting what I paid for
Me: That’s probably gotten you ahead in life. Good on ya!
Lobster: Thx. Cheap shmeap, momma gotta get what she paid for.
Stubs.
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